August 29th Random thoughts and pics

Just about any one can do these. Tell me if you cant find the answers and we will send you back to kindergarten.

I want one of these. I could go swimming in these. I did have one that big in New Orleans one time at a micro brewery. I had a buzz for a week.

I think we all need these kind of signs. The economy is hurting so we should go out and make our own signs. Mine would say " I need money for gas, car insurance, and a trip around the world."

Can you imagine the high he got. 800 cigs in 6 minuets. Now think of the cost of that puff. Any takers to break the record. That would have to be 900 or better.

Scary isn't it. What was it if it wasn't chicken. The Mexican restaurant in a town not far from here got caught serving Alpo dog food in their burritos not once but 5 times before they shut them down for good. Then there is the restaurants that you see with all the stray cats out the back door. Makes you think.

Ok now for a Ramble. The prisoners that pick up the garbage on the road. What the hell did they do to deserve this. I would not like to be picking up crap off the side of the road. These fucks look happy every time I pass them on the road. I can not imagine what they would pick up.But they do leave alot of garbage bags on the side of the road. And the road kill people look happy to have a job. I was told that the condoms they see would make a prostitute blush. This is a reminder to stay out of jail or they will make you pick up nasty stuff off the roads.

Oh the condom thing reminded me of a joke. How do you reuse a condom. Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.

Random pics august 27th

This is one of mine. I collect weird people photos. She has boobs on her back. She can reach around and play with them too.

Love this one. If you have enough cattle you would be in Deep shit.

I think I would have know that was there way before it got that far. Thankfully they were not using a straw to drink with.

Enough said here. Next picture.

This one makes me laugh for sure. I heard of dogs being mans best friends but this one has to be women's best friend. Where did he get such a long tongue.

Wide load coming thru. When my butt gets that big just go ahead and shoot me. Can you imagine wiping that thing or having to be rolled in flour to find the wet spot?

This is indeed an odd couple. I couldn't imagine them in bed together. She would crush him for sure.

Just funny that is all I can say. Now I see two donut holes back there. I will for ever be scared because of this.

Really bad jokes

Here are a few really bad jokes that I collected while at work this weekend. I hope you enjoy these as much as I did.

There was a lady that was flat chested. She went day to day hoping against hope that she would grow a set. One day she went to a fortune teller. The fortune teller cast as spell on her so that every time some one bumped into her and said pardon they would grow a little. She was told to come back when they were the right size. So she spent all day bumping into people until she got them to the right size. When she went back the fortune teller was closed for the day. She decided to go to dinner to celebrate and come back in the morning. So for dinner that night she got dressed up and went to a fancy restaurant. The waiter bumped into her and said a thousand pardons. The next day in the paper the headlines read : WAITER KILLED BY TWO MYSTERIOUS FLYING TORPEDO'S"




A bachelor has no belly because when he opens a fridge he says:- "Fuck it, the same again!" and then goes to the bed.Married man has belly because when he comes to the bad he says:- "Fuck it, the same again!" and then goes and opens the fridge.


A panda walks into a bar, goes right to the counter, grabs a sandwich and after having eaten it he takes a gun out of his pocket and shoots the bartender. Then, as though nothing had happened, he walks out. Everyone in the bar is sitting all speechless and petrified but suddenly someone breaks the silence:-What a hell was that?!?Comes a sorrowful voice:-It was a panda.-???-Perhaps you don't know what a panda is... It's a mammal that eats, shoots, and leaves.


Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.


Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.


Q. What does Popeye do to keep his favorite tool from rusting? A. Sticks it in Olive Oyl.


Q. What's a diaphragm?A. A trampoline for dickheads.


There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel. He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and go on it again.Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blonde's sitting in it. He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help. The hottest girl said ,"If you fix our car we will do anything you want."The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash.When he finished are three girls asked, "How could we ever repay you Mr." After thinking for a short while he replied,"Could you hold my camel?"



Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!" And so they did. As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, "My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!" And the woman was thinking to herself, "My God, if I knew the old geezer could actually get it up, I would have taken off my panty hose!"

Pics and a few good jokes.

Please meet me at the corner of Cuming and 69 please. Don't most people cum when they 69. I use to have a bumper sticker that said eat out more often and it had a boy and a girl (stick figure style) in the 69 position. I loved that sticker. Sold the car and never got another one.

Ok I had no idea what a moose knuckle was until tonight. I am sorry I had to find out. Camel toes extra large. Please buy this lady some pants or a tent that fits right. Save us all. I am taking donations for it if interested.

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says, "What's wrong with Schlitz, don't you like it? The man says, "I hate that shit". Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks. The bartender says, "You drink a case of any beer you're going to blow chunks". You don't understand said the man, Chunks is my dog.

A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and finally she agrees to go out with him. He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a fancy dinner with expensive wine. On the way home, he pulls over to the side of the road in a secluded spot. They start necking and he's getting pretty excited. He starts to reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she's a virgin and wants to stay that way."Well, okay," he says, "how about a blow job?" "Yuck!" she screams. "I'm not putting that thing in my mouth!"He says, "Well, then, how about a hand job?" "I've never done that," she says. "What do I have to do?""Well," he answers, "remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it?" She nods. "Well, it's just like that."So, he pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it. A few seconds later, his head flops back on the headrest, his eyes close, snot starts to run out of his nose, wax blows out of his ear and he screams out in pain."What's wrong?!" she cries out."Take your thumb off the end!!"

A husband and wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local country club. The man and woman meet the pro and head onto the driving range. The man goes up to hit first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards. The golf pro says not bad. Golfpro: "Now hold the club as firm as you hold your wife's breasts". The man follows instructions and hits the ball 300 yards. The golf pro says "Excellent!" Now the woman takes her turn. Her ball goes 30 yards. Golfpro: "Not bad, try holding the club like you hold your husbands dick." She swings and the ball goes 10 yards. Golfpro: "Not bad, but now try taking the club out of your mouth and hit the ball."

A guy is riding the bus when at a stop, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen gets on. The only problem is that she is a nun. He decides to approach her anyway. "Sister, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I must have sex with you." he says. "I'm sorry but I've given my body to God" she replies and then leaves. Suddenly the bus driver turns around to the guy and says "I know a way you can get her in the sack." The bus driver tells the guy about how the nun goes to confessional everyday at 3 in the afternoon. The bus driver tells the guy his plan and the guy leaves happy knowing he's going to get some. The next day at 3 the guy is in the booth dressed as a priest. When the nun approaches in the darkness he says "Sister, God has told me I must have sex with you." She replies "Well if God has said it, we must do it. However because of my strong commitment to God I will only take it up the ass." The guy figures this isn't a problem and proceeds to have the best sex ever. After it is over he whips off his outfit and says "Surprise I'm the guy on the bus" With that the nun turns around and says "Surprise I'm the bus driver."

Girl Booty

We did boobs yesterday so butts comes next. Every one likes to look at butts. So with out further ado here are a few samples of some nice ones.


This one I just found funny. I do believe that this will happen to a lot of people as they get older. I do feel sorry for the dog and hope like hell that she doesn't fart.

This one is a nice example of a round butt. I bet the person that rubbed the oil on it had fun. This baby's got back.

This one is a wedgie butt. She has got a hell of a wedgie. I would have to reach around and pull that sucker out of my ass.

Again a wedgie. She looks happy to have it. But it looks to me like she is about to leave a load for every one to see.

And last but not least just remember that a wet pussy never hurt anyone.

Big Boobs

Ok I vented a little while ago and now I feel better. I am making it up to all of you for getting off track. Here you go some world record boobs.




Are these real? They say that they were in the Guinnies book of World Records. But isnt more than a mouthful a waste?

Damn!!! My back hurts and I am not carring that around with me all the time. Can you imaagin the weight you have to carry. You could never jump on a trampoline and if you go to bed you might get smothered. The sun glasses are to cover the blac eyes she has from running.

The caption says it all. She can suck her own nipples. She needs a shelf to hold them up.

Random pictures of today

Is it just me or does he look older than 18 to yall. I hope his underwear was clean if he tried to eat them.

I definitely would not want to be there. Can you imagine the embarrassment from that and the smell.

Lucky dog. I think we should all own one that does that. It would make the world a better place.

Random pictures found on the internet

Any one get the meaning here? The monkey and spank. My other favorite one of these is sticks and stones may break my bones but spanking excites me. So roll me over and show me that you like me.

Stated so well. Most men love boobs and would hang this sign up if they had one.

I wonder what they bake. A friend sent me this one she found off the Internet. It is somewhere up north. I would definitely not go there. Do not know what you would catch.

Speaks volumes. May be the neighbor has one of these too. I know I needed one a while back but they got evicted so I do not have to worry about it any more.

All About Me!!!

This is my alter ego's blog. This is the side of me that not many people know nor do they see. I am not listing alot about my personal life here. This will be my random rambles. Some may shock you and some of them you may just say damn that is so totally me. If there is something you want my view on then let me know. If you figure out who I am keep it to your self. I live in the United States. I am very open minded and like to speak it. I am very sex oriented. I have a foul mouth. I have a dirty mind. I get mad easily. Once I made up my mind it doesn't get changed easily. I will not post pics of me or of my house. All pictures used here are from the web.